My review for Anger

Anger: Who gives a shite?

 

Derek O’Neill

 

 

You are sitting at a meeting with your boss and you feel your blood pressure rising, your heart beating fast and you are about to explode. Keeping your hands hidden beneath the top of the table he cannot see the balled into two huge fists ready to strike. Before coming to this meeting you went into a local café for coffee and when you started to drink it you burned your palette. Standing and waiting for the light to change a car splashed your new suit with dirty water. Your anger is welling up inside of you and it is trying to tell you something and definitely extend a special message to you. What exactly does anger say and what is it trying to tell you? The author states on page 3 and I quote: If we ignore anger and shove it aside, we’ll miss the true opportunity to go deeper into ourselves.

 

Everyone in the world has disagreements with someone at some time. No one has ever had what I would say an anger free month or even at times an anger free week. Anger is something that you cannot avoid but dealing with it and taking control is why author Derek O’Neill wrote a series of outstanding guides to help all of us deal with Anger and many other emotions.

 

 

You are still stewing from getting covered with water and your boss is criticizing your last presentation and the fact that your sales figures have dropped. Sitting there you are about to let your emotions run free. So, why not take a deep breath, sit in a comfortable chair and listen while I explain how to deal with your anger, what causes the chain of events that might ruin your day or life and much more. Anger has its own chain of events you might say which happen to be attached to our five senses. Our five senses the author states tend “to be the root cause of all of our emotions.” Everyone needs to understand this powerful emotion and what’s more how to control it. Next, understand that desires breed anger when not fulfilled. Like that fur coat you wanted but your husband had the audacity to use the money to pay the rent. What about the new car, the vacation to Europe or even being ignored on your birthday by your family? When we are growing up we learn how to act when we want to get what we want. We also and others learn too that they better not dare stand in our way when we want something and our object whatever it is will be fulfilled: OR ELSE!

 

Living with delusion breeds anger as well as when delusion rules as well as the loss of self-awareness. All three can take us on a path that is destructive. So, what do we do? After all we are human and sometimes we need guidance to help us understand what we don’t about ourselves? First, you must, we must accept anger. I am serious. If you accept and own your anger you will be able to let it go. Just how you have to read on pages 10-11 in order to understand it on your own. Next, from Anger to Enlightenment: Remember: You are sitting with your boss at the present time and you are about to really explode. Rather than do that own up to what you did, learn from your mistakes, ask how you can grow or where you can go from here and hopefully things will turn around. Pages 11- 17 explain when someone decides to go to a retreat and what they learn from the experience. It also explains how to bring your anger back into alignment- “letting it flow- and release.”

 

The next chapter deals with the Flip Side of Anger and incorporates an important definition: Duality, which refers to how you handle a specific event and which road you, takes to find your answers. Duality is at everyone’s disposal or fingertips and you are in control of it. How many times have you gone out to lunch with friends and listened to their stories about how many cars are in their garage, how many vacations they are going on or even what private schools they are considering for their children in the fall? Does that mean their lives are better than yours? Does that mean that you are worth less? No! You need to stop thinking or buying into the idea that other people’s lives are better or more prosperous than yours. You need to set yourself free, undo those handcuffs and break away from the anger that is welling inside. First, the author states: Embrace the” one,” that is YOU! Then read pages 19- 20 to learn more. Forgiveness: Powerful! How can you forgive those that have made you angry, feeling hurt or weak? Find out when you read on about not becoming or remaining a victim and attaching yourself to anger.

 

The next area the author brilliantly explains is physical and chemical aspects of anger followed by examples of how anger draws anger and the comparisons and definitions will bring it into perfect focus for the reader. Added in anger does as we all know have an impact and affect on relationships. What about handling a situation where a parent has betrayed you many times and you have decided to permanently disconnect yourself from that parent. The hurt is more than just painful and the anger that is welled up inside of you is about to overflow. How do you handle it when someone else is the cause or as the author states is the catalyst of your anger? Instead of staying angry realize that this parent or person has enlightened you and the next time you might thank them for their actions or words and handle it by allowing the anger to be released. The remainder of the section explains how anger can ruin a romantic relationship, anger that leads to violence, depression and grief and addiction.

 

You are now all wound up, your body feels like it’s about to take off in several directions. You kids are really getting you upset. Your boss just called to tell you that you day off has been cancelled. Your husband forgot your anniversary and your best friend betrayed your trust. What do you do in order to release the anger? When anger fills your mind, heart and soul: lie down, drink water slowly, put something cold on your temples, breathe deeply, leave the environment and try laughing at your actions. Working on letting go will help you to overcome your anger and find happiness. The author suggests classes to help you deal with the root of your anger. To learn his final thoughts on the subject read pages 42-43 and I promise you, you will feel so much better. I do! This is the first in the “Get A Grip,” series that I was asked to read and review. Get ready for my next review on what else: Happiness coming soon!

 

Great resource with extensive research and easy to understand examples and a resource section at the end which includes sites for children too. I want the Water Drop Coloring Book. I love to color. It is so relaxing. So, do you still Give a Shite? You won’t after reading this!

 

Fran Lewis: Reviewer

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